I just came back from doing an appointed person’s first aid course which I zealously volunteered to do for the cube. It is a ‘corporate training’ day course, which should tell you a lot, and it involved disturbing plastic torsos, a flip chart, etc. At least I got to keep some bandages, although overall it was a pretty depressing affair. The teacher (70 year old man) seemed to take a dislike to me and when I asked a question wheeled round and roared “WHAAATTT???” as if it was a really stupid question. Which it might have been to be fair. He also seemed to not listen to a word that anybody (especially me) said. So when I said I worked at a cinema, he kept on asking me questions about conservation. I thought it would be kinder to make it up rather than correct him. In fact, when he asked anybody anything it was really just an excuse to talk about himself for a while. All the people whose lives he’s saved. etc. He also kept on talking about “windows of opportunity” which seemed hilariously ironic when sat in a practically windowless 1950s concrete ex-high school in Lawrence Weston. I also completely failed to put a really really obese woman in the recovery position. Her elbow wouldn’t reach the ground. Talking of failing, I kept on thinking of how embarrassing it would be if I failed the course. However, it’s ok, it turned out to be totally unfailable (they printed off the certificates before the end of the day). Anyway, I’m now the person to turn to if you fall over or something at the cube. But please try not to.
By the way, please come to the cube on saturday night for some SECRETARY themed membership data entry frolics.